You Know...

You know you are working in the company when:

• You see men scratching themselves in inappropriate places, in public. Scenes like these are common: You walk out the lift and you see a man relieving their itch with one and staring at you as though it is completely normal and non-repulsive, or you are sitting at your desk and some guy starts talking to the lady infront of you simultaneously plucking themselves as a cover up to itch themselves.



• You see men starting a conversation inside a room and finishing it outside. It is like he his screaming at the person in the room and walks out… still talking and ends his monologue in the lobby where the person in the room cant even hear him. No wonder no one gets anything done in The Company… they cant hear each other speak!
  

• You convey you side of the argument by saying “This thing”. For example:
  Me: ‘Man, it is too hot. If you are feeling cold, instead of reducing the temperature, wear a jacket or something. I cant strip just to feel cooler’
  Dude: ‘It is not about feeling cold, it is this thing’
  Hamster Voice in Head: ‘WTF?’

Dude: ‘You need to use proper words while
writing official letters. The
world deliver is normally used in the procurement
sense, use words like
expedite and this thing, this thing’

• You hit the Monitor, instead of the CPU, when your computer is slow… you know so as to urge the PC to stop hanging in the middle of your work.

• You bluff.
  Dude: ‘… so in order to do this, use the pivot table. Do you know how to use the pivot table?’
  Me: ‘No, but I will find out’
  Dude: ‘It is simple, come lets do this together and finish it off’
  *opens excel sheet*
  *initiates the Pivot Table function*
  *stops and stares*
  *mouth drops after looking at all the options*
  *clicks something*
  *mouth drops even more after seeing the next selection*
  *silence*
  ‘umm’
  Me: ’You know, I can figure it out myself’
  Dude: ‘yea, you do that’

• You don’t move your cursor (the one on your monitor) from one point to another in straight line, you need to do it in curves. The pictures below speak for themselves
  

• You stop making sense.

back from HELL: Spread the Blue