Recap

Ok, so life is really a drag now… I am still unemployed and that fact is bugging the crap out of me. Plus, to top it off, it is freaking hot… boiling…*humph* *)@(%(*@$*##!*#* You see what I am sayin’?

Allow me to recap my past… since you were last updated… nothing has happened… except for intense misunderstanding between human beings, boredom and of course, death of innocent people in Lebanon.

I have a family get-together this weekend… and I am so not looking forward to it. I am aware of my recent quest in knowing my family… but you know what? I really not like some of them… to be specific… there is this one member that I despise the most… words cannot attempt at describing the about of intense abhorrence I have for that woman. My mom is aware of my feelings… but… I think I will eventually be dragged to the ‘reunion’. Sh*t! I am pissed off again. Just thinking about her irritates the crap out of me. Then I tend to have a lot of anger that I tend to misplace. *argh* *totally pissed off*

Speaking of hatred and anger, I am sure you all know about my Poodle, Shiraz. I mean we go back to high school. Whenever I ruin any poor souls life by mentioning (yes, the mere mention of his name can scar you for life!) him, I always tell them of how our relationship has metamorphosed from hatred to friendship. I mean I used to hate that thing… but now… as much as I hate him…he is a good friend… always had my back… and although you keep on teasing me, Shiraz, you are still my Poodle :-) there, the whole world knows :-). Thanks for the words of encouragement, the last time we chatted. Hope you get exiled from The Land of The Unemployed soon. Remember to get me something pretty with your first salary. :-) *innocent look*

Oh wait, I haven’t finished talking about my Poodle! I can swear that you hated me too, in high school. You are delusional, thus you have no clue as to what you are saying and no matter what you say,Shiraz, I will never believe you. Thus, the moral of the story is, we both hated each other and now we are buddies… I think… yea… we are buddies *buddy hug*

Since I am thanking my Poodle, it would be evil of me not to thank Hemlyn and my Dopey *blush* for giving me moral support. *Thank you Hug*

I baked cookies!... ahaan, they came out right, no one had food poisoning or anything. I am officially the best cookie baker ever! *Victory Dance*

So, I went out with my mom to get her abaya from the shop. As I was walking, with my mom, to this shop, I saw white light. It was the whitest white (why do I think that sounds like something coming out of a detergent commercial) light ever… anyhow, I thought I died… I rubbed my eyes, I saw heaven. Ok, I am running out on how to describe what I saw. Basically, it was a shop with the most amazing dresses ever! *mouth watering*. A bit pricey, but, I have an ingenious idea. I should sell my sisters to work at the shop in exchange for clothes my size. Yes, yes, I know… I am the best… *SMILE*. Now that I have come up with this plan, I have to work at convincing my mom. That is a tough job. Women are very hard to convince.

Oh women are mean creatures too, especially the ones who work at saloons. I went to get a hair cut, the lady was yanking out my hair with the brush. Now, I don’t know if she did this because she took a sudden dislike toward to me (I doubt that, I am a very wubbable person), or she has alot of displaced anger (I know how that works, I do that a lot whenever my aunt comes into the picture… damn, I am pissed off again!), or she thought if she removed half of my hair, she wouldn’t have much to cut (that lazy bum!)

*holds head*… it still hurts… *sad look*.



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Confused Bleck Lady

I am all glittery today :-) I took a long shower and spoilt my self a bit. Anyhow, I used this new body lotion. Little did I know that ‘Simmering Lotion’ meant glittery cream… so now, my whole body looks like a Christmas display. Thank you Mafaz :-)

Right then, for the update about my evening at Maha’s place. Fan and Bajaj came to pick me up. I gave most of the directions *pat on back*. I guess I am not as direction inhibited as I thought. At her place, we saw the Skeleton Key, after 2 hours worth of torturous restaurant choosing. We ended up ordering from Subway. Btw, Maha, I left my cookies at your place… I want them! I was pretty quiet at the meeting, though. I guess, I am all matured now, and I have to leave my crazy nature behind *tsk task*. I really don’t know why my behavior was altered. I guess it will come to me in an epiphany one day.

Anyhow, Wardah is confused with the word bleck… she keeps on saying it as ‘BLACK’. Women!... it is BLECK! Someone explain it to her!

I fasted today. It is the month of Rajab. And apparently it is a good thing to fast this month. So that is what I plan to do. My mom kept on telling me to sleep so that I wouldn’t feel thirsty or hungry… and my sister, Amar, kept on telling me to have chocolate after I had my iftar.

Plus, I am on a quest of finding more about my religion. It is going on really slow. I have started with the fundamentals. And to tell you the truth, I am getting confused. I would urge every one to start reading on their religion, from the basics. You would be surprised how many things you have been doing wrongly. I found out, that my method of ablution (wdhu) was wrong. Mind you, reading up on your religion, does not mean becoming an extremist and condemning others. On the contrary, it should make you more tolerant to other religions. I feel that it is wrong for anyone to enforce something as sensitive and sacred as religion on anyone. Further more, condemn anyone’s religion. For, anyone who does this, I feel, is weak and insecure. There is a phrase/ hadith in my head now, but I am not quiet sure about who said it. I will try finding out more about it and posting it hence.

Back to what happened today. My driving instructor called me up so a class, like 20 minutes before my class… I hate it when she does that. Anyhow… my driving has gotten deplorable. Apparently my concentration was not with me. I guess I forgot it at home, since I left in a hurry. It is all her fault.

* confused bleck lady*

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Here Comes the Lady in Bleck!

Ahoy mates!

It is the Queen of Hamster the Nice Land. Thou shall bow. Other than being the queen of a very nice land, I am still unemployed. It is amazing how females multitask, eh? :-) I got to know that one of the companies I applied to, are looking for non Asians. Basically they want an increase of Arabs in their employee population. *pissed off look* Racists! It is because I am bleck right?! *even more pissed off look*

On a happier note, I am going to visit my high school friends today. At least what is left of them. Most of them have traveled abroad. So I am stuck with Fanny the Short stuff, Wardah the Beloved To Be *wink* and Maha the Talks with the Speed of Light, and obviously me, Tassy the Queen of Hamster the Nice Land.

My cousins (paternal) came over to my place yesterday. In essence I had about 17 people in my home, at one time. It was fun, I must admit. But I was feeling sorry for my cousins (who I had seen only the second time). The poor things were sitting aside, with the elders, refusing to mingle with us, thumb sucking kids :-). I think they have cracked out my crazy. The last time I met them I was really out of line; with all the screaming, laughing and leg pulling I had going on. Not that I am sarcastic, but I tried to subdue what little sarcasm I poses.

Anyhow, I had a field day removing all the plates and cutlery and help prepare food fit to feed the people of an entire nation. I became the Chef In charge.They arrived at 7:00pm and left close to 10:00pm. My dad’s cousin/uncle came. Oh he is so adorable… *pulling cheeks* *ahem*, as I was saying, the entourage consisted of uncle, aunts and a whole lot of cousins. Two of them, the boys who have come from Paki Land, are as shy as sheep :-) I would have talked to them about my Babe Plan, but, I am supposed to behave my self. I hate it when you have to be some one you are not when it comes to family… it shucks *sad face*.

Most of my time was spent serving and saying ‘I am coming!’ to my cousin sisters. :-) I wub them… I don’t talk to them a lot, but they are cool. They at least talk!

Moving right along, today, my driving instructor was making me drive with one hand :-). She also ended up taking me to an area that was encompassed with two laned roads fit for a bicycle. The good thing is I did not end up killing anyone, so yaay! Here comes the bleck lady!

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A Dandy Evening

So, I am still waiting for call backs from companies. I swear, this is torture. Companies, should be penalized for having people waiting for their answers. I think I see a grey hair strand, now, with all the worrying that has been going about

I visited my cousins yesterday. It was pretty dandy. I met my cousins’ cousins. Further more,I think I have a thing for ears… my father’s uncle/ cousin is in town, and we essentially went to meet him. He is residing with my cousins. Anyhow… he has amazing ears. I so wanted to play with them… but I had to behave myself *sad look*. Although, I think my cousins’ cousins think I have an attitude problem. I was all crazy there and my usually crazy sister was very docile… so I had no external crazy to counter act my crazy. Get it? So basically I don’t make good first impressions. Also, I wore a long skirt there, and I ended tripping over it either because I was stepping on it or other people ended up stepping on it. Pretty embarrassing I say. And, every one was asking my sister about her trip to Pakistan so I was kinda feeling left out and bored because I have heard all the stories at least 20 times. Other than that, it was alright. These cousins, of mine, are more talkative and free as opposed the other ones. I guess this trait runs in my dad’s family.

Still, I wish I knew my family better. I don’t think I ever will.

P.S: I have a feeling this post makes no sense, I guess it reflects who I am :-)

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Happy belated Cow Appreciation Day

Ahoy mates!

Me is the pirate! Ok, I am bluffing, I am not a pirate; I am the long lost Queen of Hamster the Nice Land :-) Now you shall bow in front of me and give me all the chocolates you can get :-)

So apparently Bajaj’s cow fetish seems to be growing. His life long dream of having a heard of (stuffed) cows is coming true. There also is a Cow Appreciation Day, which falls on July 14. Sorry I missed that… Happy belated Cow Appreciation Day. Hemlyn was sweet enough to pass out the information. I shall share it with you all:

Dear friends,

It is with great solemnity that I inform you that every year, the 14th of July is celebrated as Cow Appreciation Day. Regrettably, we did not learn of this great event in time to observe or commemorate it with the respect and excitement that it truly deserves.

Harish, Mookie, Pookie and Tassy the pink-haired cow… please accept our sincerest apologies and our heartfelt gratitude for not mootilating our persons for overlooking your special day.

Have an udderly fantastic summer,

-Hemlyn


Being the long lost Queen of Hamster the Nice Land, no cows can be named after me *humph* *dirty look* *shows tongue*. Besides, Tassy is copyrighted. Stop plagerising! *nasty look*

Today started out pretty frantic for me. My driving class was supposed to be at 12:00 but it got preponed to 10:00am. I got a call from my instructor 25 minutes for 10:00 so I was running around the house looking for a decent thing to wear. Anyhow, I ended up wearing a combination of a beige shirt, blue jeans, red toe socks, greenish shoes and a black scarf, which kept on falling of my tiny head because it was so damn silky. So I get into the car…

Me: Hey! Good morning!
Instructor: Good morning to you too.
Me: Check this out! *lifts up left leg and placed is on top of the steering wheel* *removes shoes* *wiggles toes from underneath the bright red toe sock*
Instructor: *Hilariously laughing* Wow, where did you get them from!

So I then proceeded to tell her where I got the socks from. She plans to buy them. :-) I am passing on my legacy!

Oh guess what, just like Hemyn’s Internal Monologue, (HIM), I have a similar voice in my head called Hamster the Voice in Head (HVH). I found this out in an interview that I had with a contracting firm yesterday.

I had a 9:00am interview but I was too exhausted from lazing about the previous day. Anyhow I reach the place all sweating and irritable because I got lost and I found no refuge under the blistering sun. I finally meet up with the dude, in his office, after finding the right building.

ME: “Mrs Yousef?”
HVH: “Mister, you retard… mister!”
ME: *cough* “Mister Yousef?”
Mr. Yousef: *confused expression* ”Yes?”
ME: “I was referred to you by Mrs Jamili for an electrical engineering position in this department. He spoke to you yesterday”
HVH: ”Oh, you are so screwed, you called the dude Misses. Retard”
Mr Yousef: “Oh yes, please have a seat. Do you have your CV”
ME: *hands over CV*
Mr Yousef: “So, you are from AUB, huh?”
ME: “No, sir. I am from AUS”
Mr Yousef: *smiling* “oh, you got confused, huh”
ME: *crazy expression*
HVH: “No, dude, you got confused… shessh… blame others just because they are bleck. Racists!”

Anyhow, the interview went on for about 5 more minutes. It wasn’t so promising because HVH kept on reminding me of my silly blunders and it kept on telling me that I was screwed. And the dude said that he had recently employed two new electrical engineers with experience. Ah! Well… lets see what happens.

HVH: “Bleh! Michael Vartan Rocks!”


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Family Talk

Before I begin my rackety yakking let me first clear a misconception conceived by many, in my last post. The moral of my last post was not to commit to anyone’s every whim or to live just to make everyone else happy. The moral of my last post was for me to get to know the people who surround me. I will still be myself; the same crazy person who cannot stop talking about her babe plan, who wubs making fun of Fanny and… the crazy toe socks and everything else. To tell you the truth… I haven’t yet gotten about to my mid year resolution… too lazy :- But I will :-) I made an attempt yesterday… so don’t boo me as yet.

Speaking of yesterday, I went to the mosque to attend what I think was a funeral service for my cousin sister. There I met my family… and saw several faces that were familiar to me. Anyhow so at the end of the program, food was served. I ended up sitting besides my other cousin sister, Nahid. The day before, I was talking to her about the current situation in our family and told her that it was a pity that we all didn’t know each person (in our family) well enough. I told her about my blog and invited her to read and leave comments. I was surprised to know she already knew about it. So at yesterday while eating we had a follow up conversation:

Nahid: ‘Tara, so you know how I got to know about your blog?’
Me (Tara. I have so many pet names… don’t get me started!) :’ No, tell me’
Nahid: ‘You were taking long sending your graduation pictures to my mom, so I googled your name and your university hoping to find some pictures of your graduation. It is funny huh?’
Me: ‘What is funny?’
Nahid: ‘How I found your blog’
Me: ‘No, what is funny is that you though AUS would post picture of me, of all the 700 people who graduated’

Anyhow… then today we met online again and she complemented Fatima’s blog. I started introducing her to other blogs:

Me: ‘You should read Hemlyn’s blog. Her posts are very well written…’
Nahid: ‘Hemlyn is a girl?’
Me: ‘Yeah. It even sounds like a feminine name’
Nahid: ‘It doesn’t even sound like a name’

Hem, don’t worry, I still wub you. :-) *flying kiss*

I made my first dish today. I cooked Chinese rice! Yes, every one is alive at home, no one has gotten food poisoning. The mishap that took place with Kunal was because he is a weakling :-) *hug* I wub you Kunal… with the braces, your face looks like Mike Tyson. :-)What is not to wub about that? :-)

Ok, ok, I am being abit mean today. I am utterly bored, unemployed and fat… plus my sister has taken over Hamster the third a.k.a Micheal Vartan Jr. (my Laptop) because her Laptop is messed up. And I am stuck using the desktop whose sound system is non existent. *pissed off look*

Oooo! I met my other wubbable professor of mine, at university on Wednesday; Professor Barkat. He is the current century’s Dexter look-a-like. He has this accent and cubby cheeks (I find it hard not to pull them) and the glasses too! Anyhow, he was one of my Design Project supervisor, along with Assaf (*sigh* , I wub him). Point is, I met him at the Deli. I ran and jumped in front of him… and when I mean ran, I mean run, and when I mean jumped I mean jump. Yes, he was startled, but equally happy to see me. I accompanied him for lunch… and… I wub him :O

Right, so, I am bored, and for some insane reason sitting in a room with the A/c not switched on. Now I am sweating. *sigh* . The things I do for you people!

Oh by the way, meet my new pet; Hamster the Blue Hamster. Scroll down and look to your right :-) Keet, you are his God Father, since you helped me putting him on the site. Congrads.

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Life

Life is way underrated. It is taken for granted. I know I do, some times. Being young does not mean having a long life ahead of you. The story of your life ends as soon as you meet death.

They say ‘live life to the fullest’. So does this mean you start partying around, hanging out day after day with your friends? I hardly doubt that. I think one should have a proper balance of family and friend time. Being human, we normally take the former, mostly, for granted. To tell you the truth I think I take both for granted. I am now admonishing myself for doing that. There have been times when I have thought of severing all relationships with my friends (I can’t do that with my family, since I live with them and occasionally meet up with the rest) and just getting the hell away from everyone and live peacefully with out any commotion, expectation or fear. But thanks to reality, I have woken up from this ridiculous deliberation. I will try my best to get to know as many people as I can. I will try to maintain communications between as many family members and friends. I know I made a promise to myself earlier this year. Unfortunately, my scrabbled up brain made a slip. I say it now; I will try as hard as I can this time.

Maintaining a balance between friends and family… I said. How is this possible? Truly, I don’t know. My over protected environment prevents me from mingling with my friends as much as I would have liked to. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. My silence, which is brought about by sundry elements, always urges a deaf ear toward my existence. I am normally asked; ‘So, why don’t you call?’ or ‘I always call; now it is your turn’. Why keep score? I think. If you see me being civil with you and if you like my company then what is the problem? Friendship is not something where you have a note book and you write down who did what and when and how many times they did what they did. Friendship is about respect, love, honesty and compromise, as opposed taking turn to call up each other.

Family; aaaah, you meet them at a wedding, funeral, mosques or any other event. The elders stay put with the elders, the children are divided by their age group. You don’t see your cousins for a long time so you find it hard talking about personal matters. In the end, all you do is have the weather talk with them and then mind your own business. You think they are stuck up because they don’t talk, they probably think the same thing about you. Worse, if there is a rift within the family then you, being the second generation, are effect in a way that you cannot socialize with the other party. On your death bed you realize what a big family you had and regret the fact that you don’t know any of them at all. They are nothing but names to hazy images that are locked up in your brain. It is a pity.

I don’t know. Maybe things will never change. Maybe as days go by, your friends will forget you and your family will remain strangers. I will try not to let that happen. But, lets see how much strength I have left in me to carry out this seemly Herculean task. I had a short conversation with Hemlyn to day, at university. I mentioned my intentions of closing this blog. Now, I think I will not. I will keep my blog running, posting as much as I can; my views, my experiences… anything. This will be my first attempt at keeping up my mid year resolution.

Dedicated to: Ms Sabrina Sultan Ulkera

1974-2006
InaLillahi wa inaelehi rajioon

I didn’t know you as well as I would have wanted to. But I am sure your rocked big time. You will be missed dearly by the ones you left behind. I pray to Allah (SWT) to grant you paradise and to grant us all patience to overcome this immense loss.

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I really don’t give a damn

OK so a lot of people have a problem. They may or may not realize it but they do. A lot of people don’t know the etiquettes required for civil conversations. All of us are humans… lets be realistic most of us are. That means we make mistakes. I admit it. But where is the courtesy if all you get back, for your mistake, are harsh words dripping with sarcasm?

In school, I stirred clear from the kids who thought they were so damn pretty and so damn cool that they used to walk with their heads so high up that all you could see were their nostrils. I stirred clear from the brats who had no clue about the decorum of behaving in public.

One would think that matriculating from high school and spending time at university, one would be educated about manners, how to present oneself and how to interact with others. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Sure, be free with friends. Being formal with the people you are close to is a drag, but that doesn’t mean you forget the thin line between light hearted conversations and utter rudeness.

After all, etiquettes are so important that magazines dedicated whole sections to behavior in public. So, for those who are so dense that they have failed to develop the ability of behaving in public, in spite of the experience, sc*** you. I really don't give a damn about what you think.

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Still here ...

The Land of the Unemployed is still existent. So there is nothing new going on. Today morning, after I came back from my driving class, I wandered the hallways of my apartment, only to find the same old freaking walls and my sister… she sucks… I wub her :-0

I taught my dad how to give a flying kiss two days ago, and I am making him practice it at least 5 times every day. He also has his own language, founded by yours truly. His language (The Tiddy Language) has only one word… “Wuff”. Wuff is a modification of wub… :-) No Hemlyn, I do not torture my dad :-) I wuff him :-)

I had a chat with my cousin from Paki Land. It felt good… nice chat. I gave her the link to my blog and mentioned that I had written my Babe Plan in it. I also mentioned that I had talked about her Dad in my blog… for some reason, she thought my uncle was a part of my Babe Plan… :-) I guess, silliness runs in the family :-)

Right, people I am bored out of my brains… I have no idea how to occupy my time. I think I have gained 3 kilos doing crap. I have heard the same celebrity news over and over and over and over… and over again… over for the past month and a half… seriously I think the paparazzi aren’t doing a good job. I don’t really care about celeb kids how much do their dippers cost. People in the television industry, seriously, have nothing better to do than sit around a table… in front a herd of jobless creatures talking about how much the photo shoot of a kid costs. Jobless creatures.

Any ideas about how to occupy myself before I get crazy due to immense boredom ?


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In the Land of the Unemployed

Me is here again… still dwelling in the Land of the Unemployed… I am telling you, the boredom is excruciating. I am too lazy to check my mail… worse… apply for more jobs.

My driving classes are going on… I learnt to honk at fellow drivers… let the Wrath of the Yellow Car begin. My instructor isn’t much of a hard-ass as I thought she was before. She is pretty sweet and starts every other sentence with “’Did you ever know that…’ Now the context may be either personal or informatory. I shall rule out the story where I accidentally said that she was short. Oh what the hell… here is what I said:

ME: ‘My sister wants to start driving lessons too. But we keep on making fun of her by saying that she will need to sit on a pillow in order to see over the wheel.’
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: ‘Oh, how tall is she?’
ME: ‘Ummm…. 5 something… about your height’
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: ‘Are you saying I am short?’
ME: ‘Ummm… aaa…. Oh look… isn’t that car amazing?’

In addition to being a person who thinks after talks… oh wait… let me rephrase… doesn’t think at all (preservation of body energy), I a lot found out that I am a Kluts… (oh! News!) I managed to make my self trip yesterday… and about a month ago… when the stars aligned themselves in a straight line; I kicked myself in the leg.

My ol’ friend Kunal, the Hamster is back. Yes, he is Hamster the first. Welcome back, after a gazillion years of silence.

To end, Mafaz called me fat. He said if I sit on him, I would hurt him… *sniff sniff*

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