Life

Life is way underrated. It is taken for granted. I know I do, some times. Being young does not mean having a long life ahead of you. The story of your life ends as soon as you meet death.

They say ‘live life to the fullest’. So does this mean you start partying around, hanging out day after day with your friends? I hardly doubt that. I think one should have a proper balance of family and friend time. Being human, we normally take the former, mostly, for granted. To tell you the truth I think I take both for granted. I am now admonishing myself for doing that. There have been times when I have thought of severing all relationships with my friends (I can’t do that with my family, since I live with them and occasionally meet up with the rest) and just getting the hell away from everyone and live peacefully with out any commotion, expectation or fear. But thanks to reality, I have woken up from this ridiculous deliberation. I will try my best to get to know as many people as I can. I will try to maintain communications between as many family members and friends. I know I made a promise to myself earlier this year. Unfortunately, my scrabbled up brain made a slip. I say it now; I will try as hard as I can this time.

Maintaining a balance between friends and family… I said. How is this possible? Truly, I don’t know. My over protected environment prevents me from mingling with my friends as much as I would have liked to. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. My silence, which is brought about by sundry elements, always urges a deaf ear toward my existence. I am normally asked; ‘So, why don’t you call?’ or ‘I always call; now it is your turn’. Why keep score? I think. If you see me being civil with you and if you like my company then what is the problem? Friendship is not something where you have a note book and you write down who did what and when and how many times they did what they did. Friendship is about respect, love, honesty and compromise, as opposed taking turn to call up each other.

Family; aaaah, you meet them at a wedding, funeral, mosques or any other event. The elders stay put with the elders, the children are divided by their age group. You don’t see your cousins for a long time so you find it hard talking about personal matters. In the end, all you do is have the weather talk with them and then mind your own business. You think they are stuck up because they don’t talk, they probably think the same thing about you. Worse, if there is a rift within the family then you, being the second generation, are effect in a way that you cannot socialize with the other party. On your death bed you realize what a big family you had and regret the fact that you don’t know any of them at all. They are nothing but names to hazy images that are locked up in your brain. It is a pity.

I don’t know. Maybe things will never change. Maybe as days go by, your friends will forget you and your family will remain strangers. I will try not to let that happen. But, lets see how much strength I have left in me to carry out this seemly Herculean task. I had a short conversation with Hemlyn to day, at university. I mentioned my intentions of closing this blog. Now, I think I will not. I will keep my blog running, posting as much as I can; my views, my experiences… anything. This will be my first attempt at keeping up my mid year resolution.

Dedicated to: Ms Sabrina Sultan Ulkera

1974-2006
InaLillahi wa inaelehi rajioon

I didn’t know you as well as I would have wanted to. But I am sure your rocked big time. You will be missed dearly by the ones you left behind. I pray to Allah (SWT) to grant you paradise and to grant us all patience to overcome this immense loss.

back from HELL: Spread the Blue