A day at the Hospital

I think I must be the most ridiculous person ever to be born on this planet. I had to go for a medical check up yesterday. It is a requirement for employment in the firm I am about to join. Any how I had to get up early in the morning and not eat until they take my blood and violate my personal rights as a decent human being. I did not attend natures call, how I normally do early in the morning, as I knew that I would be forced to call nature my self when I would be in the hospital.

I had an 8:00 am appointment. I reached the hospital 15 minutes early. Yet I was still made to wait for one hour… don’t ask me why. The nurse called me in and checked my temperature
Nurse: ‘why do you have a fever?’
Me: ‘No’
Nurse: ‘Then why do you have a slight temperature?’
Hamster the Voice in Head (HVH): ‘Gee… I don’t know may be because I have 3 layers of cloth over my head and it happens to be SUMMER! ’
Me: ‘I guess I am nervous, that’s all.’

Then there was this other nurse, who ended up being my assigned chaperone, she looked at me in a very suspiciously as soon as she laid her eyes on me! It made me edgy and I tried to remember if I had washed my face in the morning.

Chaperone nurse: ‘how old are you’
Me: *confused look* ‘Umm… twenty’
Chaperone nurse: ‘really!… ’ *looks at record*
HVH: ‘No, not really, I just wanted to wake up bright and early on what are the few holidays I have, so that I could give you folks some target practice with them gigantic injections. And lets not forget the physical exam, I love having total strangers frisk me. Do I look like that big of a fool?! (Don’t answer that!).

Then after another half hour of waiting, I was lead into a doctor’s room. She was real nice and sweet. However, the fact that a 40+ woman wearing a Looney Toones T-shit at work got me thinking whether she was here to ‘find her self’ as opposed to helping other with their physical aliments. For a doctor she asked a shit load of questions, I mean if I was going to do her work for her then what was she doing in the room.
Doctor: ‘So are you single’
Me: *smile* ‘Yes, of course, can’t you tell by the big smile :-)’
Doctor: *laugh out loud* ‘La (no) InshalAllah, you will laugh alaatool (every time)’

Anyway, three hours later I was still prevented from answering to the call of nature, now that was not only unnatural it was downright inhuman. For peat’s sake these people where trying to make sure I was as fit as a fiddle, but in the process these morons were causing irreversible kidney damage.

Right now… the stories about yesterday can go on and on and on and on and on and on… but there is no use reliving the trauma again. Man the thought of yesterday’s ordeal makes me want to pee.

back from HELL: Spread the Blue