The Coming of the Roaches

Okie… so yesterday there was a big fat cockroach in my room. I didn’t think my office could get any filthier. Its dimensions were 2 inches by one inch (excluding its 1.5 inch antennae)

Early in the morning a colleague of mine comes in… while Vivek and I were talking at my seat. She goes to the pantry and then…

Colleague: *Shrieks*

*Runs out tip toed… holding her skirt high*

*stops at my table and gasps for air*

“There is a big cockroach in the pantry”

Fearing for my life, went to the pantry with Vivek and my other colleague… honestly, I felt like Indiana Jones :) *Indiana Jones music playing*

And then… * Scary music plays*…. I saw it… * More scary music*… The Big Fat Roach.

He stared at me… as though he was challenging me… *shivers*

Right then… we three scream and run out of the pantry…

I settle down at my table… talking to the other two… when….

This Other Dude… come in the room… sits at his table and initiates a fest of hogging his breakfast.

Colleague: *pale as a …. Pale as the beige walls in my office*

“Get out off your seat!... the cockroach is behind you!"

I saw my life flashing in front of my eyes… my palms sweaty… I thought I would never see my Hamster the Blue Car again… I shrieked and ran away from my table. If I weren’t wearing a skirt I would jump on the table to get to the other side…

This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*

The office boys would come… we would yell… “Cockroach… Cockroach”… they would see the roach smile and go away.

Hamster Voice in Head: “ Dumbasses”

This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*

Anyhow… so finally The Big Fat Roach came out in the open… in the middle of the room

I go to This Other Dude and ask him to kill the roach.

This Other Dude: *Still hogging*

“huh” *jerks as to shrug what I said*

“It’s a cockroach…. I thought it was a rat”

“huh” *jerks as to shrug what I said*

Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF? A rat is scarier than a roach and you are calmly hogging...

WTF is wrong with u?! ”

This Other Dude: *Still hogging*

“huh” *jerks as to shrug *

*gets up… at his own pace… washes his hands… gets back to his table*

*picks up a half empty tissue box and throws it at The Big Fat Roach*

*picks up the half empty tissue box… *

*The Big Fat Roach runs under a table*

This Other Dude: “huh” *jerks as to shrug *

“oh the cockroach is gone”

*returns to his seat as though nothing happened*

Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF?”

Nothing happened to The Big Fat Roach… I sat the whole day with my skirt pull up till my knees… and my legs shaking so vigorously that it looked as though I was convulsing. I survived… The Big Fat Roach still prowls the filthy pantries… loos… and lobbies of The Company

I shall not put all my Hamsterettes at danger… therefore… I shall declare a status of crisis… and issue this following poster:

back from HELL: Spread the Blue