The Coming of the Roaches
Okie… so yesterday there was a big fat cockroach in my room. I didn’t think my office could get any filthier. Its dimensions were 2 inches by one inch (excluding its 1.5 inch antennae)
Early in the morning a colleague of mine comes in… while Vivek and I were talking at my seat. She goes to the pantry and then…
Colleague: *Shrieks*
Early in the morning a colleague of mine comes in… while Vivek and I were talking at my seat. She goes to the pantry and then…
Colleague: *Shrieks*
*Runs out tip toed… holding her skirt high*
*stops at my table and gasps for air*
“There is a big cockroach in the pantry”
Fearing for my life, went to the pantry with Vivek and my other colleague… honestly, I felt like Indiana Jones :) *Indiana Jones music playing*
And then… * Scary music plays*…. I saw it… * More scary music*… The Big Fat Roach.
He stared at me… as though he was challenging me… *shivers*
Right then… we three scream and run out of the pantry…
I settle down at my table… talking to the other two… when….
This Other Dude… come in the room… sits at his table and initiates a fest of hogging his breakfast.
Colleague: *pale as a …. Pale as the beige walls in my office*
Fearing for my life, went to the pantry with Vivek and my other colleague… honestly, I felt like Indiana Jones :) *Indiana Jones music playing*
And then… * Scary music plays*…. I saw it… * More scary music*… The Big Fat Roach.
He stared at me… as though he was challenging me… *shivers*
Right then… we three scream and run out of the pantry…
I settle down at my table… talking to the other two… when….
This Other Dude… come in the room… sits at his table and initiates a fest of hogging his breakfast.
Colleague: *pale as a …. Pale as the beige walls in my office*
“Get out off your seat!... the cockroach is behind you!"
I saw my life flashing in front of my eyes… my palms sweaty… I thought I would never see my Hamster the Blue Car again… I shrieked and ran away from my table. If I weren’t wearing a skirt I would jump on the table to get to the other side…
This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*
The office boys would come… we would yell… “Cockroach… Cockroach”… they would see the roach smile and go away.
Hamster Voice in Head: “ Dumbasses”
This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*
Anyhow… so finally The Big Fat Roach came out in the open… in the middle of the room
I go to This Other Dude and ask him to kill the roach.
This Other Dude: *Still hogging*
I saw my life flashing in front of my eyes… my palms sweaty… I thought I would never see my Hamster the Blue Car again… I shrieked and ran away from my table. If I weren’t wearing a skirt I would jump on the table to get to the other side…
This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*
The office boys would come… we would yell… “Cockroach… Cockroach”… they would see the roach smile and go away.
Hamster Voice in Head: “ Dumbasses”
This Other Dude: *continues his fest of hogging*
Anyhow… so finally The Big Fat Roach came out in the open… in the middle of the room
I go to This Other Dude and ask him to kill the roach.
This Other Dude: *Still hogging*
“huh” *jerks as to shrug what I said*
“It’s a cockroach…. I thought it was a rat”
“huh” *jerks as to shrug what I said*
Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF? A rat is scarier than a roach and you are calmly hogging...
Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF? A rat is scarier than a roach and you are calmly hogging...
WTF is wrong with u?! ”
This Other Dude: *Still hogging*
This Other Dude: *Still hogging*
“huh” *jerks as to shrug *
*gets up… at his own pace… washes his hands… gets back to his table*
*picks up a half empty tissue box and throws it at The Big Fat Roach*
*picks up the half empty tissue box… *
*The Big Fat Roach runs under a table*
This Other Dude: “huh” *jerks as to shrug *
*The Big Fat Roach runs under a table*
This Other Dude: “huh” *jerks as to shrug *
“oh the cockroach is gone”
*returns to his seat as though nothing happened*
Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF?”
Nothing happened to The Big Fat Roach… I sat the whole day with my skirt pull up till my knees… and my legs shaking so vigorously that it looked as though I was convulsing. I survived… The Big Fat Roach still prowls the filthy pantries… loos… and lobbies of The Company
I shall not put all my Hamsterettes at danger… therefore… I shall declare a status of crisis… and issue this following poster:
Hamster Voice in Head: “ WTF?”
Nothing happened to The Big Fat Roach… I sat the whole day with my skirt pull up till my knees… and my legs shaking so vigorously that it looked as though I was convulsing. I survived… The Big Fat Roach still prowls the filthy pantries… loos… and lobbies of The Company
I shall not put all my Hamsterettes at danger… therefore… I shall declare a status of crisis… and issue this following poster:
back from HELL: Spread the Blue
Labels: work
4 Comments:
There were a couple in the kitchen at work the other day, according to my boss. Don't know where they are now.
May be they were from the same army! did they look mean?
Don't know... only my boss saw them.
man, i am telling you, there is some scarry shit going on here!
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